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Last month I hit a wall. It's a wall that every creative person bumps up against from time to time. Before that, things were going great. I was churning out painting after painting, and each one, I felt, was better than the last. It felt like it would be a matter of months before I was finally at the level that I always wanted to be. The only thing I was worried about was that I'd get so good that I'd run out of things to learn.
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| This one could have used more thumbnailing and more cohesive reference. |
Please stop laughing.
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| I actually really like this self-portrait. I guess I can use it as an avatar? |
Well of course, when you learn a lot at once, something happens. Flaws that you never noticed suddenly become glaring and unavoidable. You start seeing better, which means you start seeing how great your paintings aren't. This is what's happening to me right now. It's hard to explain unless you're going through it or just recently went through it. I think that's why a lot of students get so frustrated and give up.
All of my best sources and instincts tell me that I have to work through it, and that's what I'm doing. I'm trying to get myself excited that this is the precursor to a big boost in my ability. But for the time being, I'm just making stuff. I won't explain why, but the truth is that none of these pieces are portfolio-worthy, but they're each a step out of this rut.
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